A Parable: A father, his daughter, and an election

Dear Rosie,

I’m so glad your first college mid-terms went so well! Know that your mother and I could not be more proud of you, and know that your hard work is not wasted. Keep up the good work! Also, know that we are incredibly excited to have you back home for Thanksgiving; it’s all your mother can talk about! I think you’ll be surprised by the changes made to the house—I’ve finally made a fire-pit in the backyard (I know, you’ve been begging me to do it for years and you’re probably upset that I waited until your first year of college, but I promise, it wasn’t on purpose) and the downstairs bathroom has been completely remodeled. I know what you’re thinking, but your mother dictated the whole project, so it didn’t turn out to be a disaster. You’ll also be surprised by your little brother; his voice has dropped an entire octave and he’s now a good couple inches taller than me!

I’m also excited to hear about your new church; it sounds like a healthy congregation that will be perfect for you to get plugged into during your college years. Don’t forget to update us on any other major events in your life. Your mother would never admit it, but she frets from time to time about the “boy situation.” She’s not so much concerned about you making any unwise decisions out of rebellion. Rather, she dreads the thought of all the attention you must be getting from the braggadocios young men with less-than-godly intentions. Don’t worry, I’m always doing my best to dispel her concerns and reassure her that such adolescent boys pose no serious threat to you. You understand full-well that men don’t objectify, or use, or abuse woman; such behavior is inexcusable and hated in the sight of God! You know that true manhood is demonstrated by sacrifice, not bravado; by showing honor, not gratifying lust; by being selfless, not manipulating—thus, the slightest whiff of such faux-manhood would send you running to the hills. You have also given us every reason to believe that you fully understand that dating without an eye towards marriage is an irresponsible game of intimacy, and you regard the sanctity of marriage too much to waste your time getting involved with any young man who doesn’t feel the same way. Further, we know that you respect us enough to ask for our advice—and to heed it when given—so even if some godless womanizer was able to pull the wool over your vigilant eyes, you would humbly receive our disapproval. Even still, honey, aside from all of my confidence in your discernment, and in spite of all the training you may have received at home as we (by the grace of God) sought to train you up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, remember that solo-discernment is never sufficient; lean on godly advice from your church-members while you’re away from home!

Now, before I go I also wanted to remind you to vote this coming November! I know it’s the first election in which you can vote, so if you have any questions, just ask your mother or myself. On this subject, I just wanted to check in to see how you’re handling all of the information out there. I hope you’re not misled by any of this #NeverTrump business. I wish I didn’t, but I have to ask because I saw you “liked” a Facebook ad that slandered the representative of our party. It really is a shame to see our party so divided, and I pray that you aren’t participating in such madness. I know, I know, he’s not perfect, and the language in the video that was just released is pretty discouraging, but remember, sweetheart, it was 11 years ago. I’m not sure bringing up such language from such a long time ago is anything but unnecessary slander. Such behavior is understandable for a Hollywood Star, all things considered; it’s a different culture over there, you know. Besides, the man is not a Christian; you can’t expect for a non-Christian to act like a Christian Plus, should we really be focusing on his character anyway? I mean, it’s the GOP platform that we are really advocating for, and we’re voting in a President, not a Pastor! Sure he may be a serial divorcee, and sure he has helped to conceive children he hasn’t helped to raise, and sure he brags about things that God finds reprehensible, and sure he has perpetuated racial stereotypes which dehumanize image bearers of the living God, but which party do you think God really stands behind? Trump is a good candidate with many flaws, but even if you don’t like the guy personally, you can still vote for him with the comforting thought that God is pleased with your support of the Republican platform; simply reassure yourself that he doesn’t accurately represent the party. I know, I know, you’ll probably point out that a Trump-candidacy shows that Trump does represent the GOP platform now, so advocating for the platform doesn’t really help matters much. You’ll also probably point out that Trump embodies exactly the kind of objectifying, fleshly man I have always taught you to avoid, but I think such objections are distracting us from the real problem here: Hillary.

There’s no alternative, Rosie. And I think you know how unqualified Hillary is for stepping into the Oval Office; she is, after all, totally morally bankrupt! The woman does nothing but lie, manipulate, and self-promote. Plus, she has essentially promised us that a Hillary presidency will result in countless more abortions. Sure, Trump may personally perpetuate the sexualizing, women-objectifying, abusing culture which is an upstream “demand” for abortion, but he has at least promised to suppress the “supply” of abortion to some degree, and SCOTUS really is the most pressing issue right now. If it helps, try not to think about the women he has abused over the years, and think instead on the thousands of hypothetical babies his presidency might potentially save! Be sure to spread this sound reasoning to your classmates as well (and if you happen to have any classmates who are ethnic minorities, be sure to remind them that Trump isn’t that racist—we have come a long way as a nation, and if a President says the occasional racist comment, just look at the nearest water-fountain for some healthy perspective). Also, in light of the recent debate, let me just remind you that although stop-and-frisk may be an unfortunate—racially targeting—practice for a short time, at least it will bring about the law and order that this recent #BLM madness has disrupted.

All that to say, don’t forget to vote for the truly Christian option! Also, I hear that Trump is coming to your neck of the woods next week for a rally. If you happen to go (and I strongly encourage you to; Lord knows our GOP needs all the support it can get in such troubling times!), be sure not to get too close to Trump; I may trust him with this country, but I sure don’t trust him with my little girl!